Maybe you have a goal. Maybe that goal seems very distant, or maybe you’re almost there. Maybe you’ve spent hundreds of dollars on outside help, or hours of time researching it. But through it all, you’re not able to get yourself up to actually do it. You may think it’s caused by lack of motivation, but that’s merely the symptom. The disease is, you don’t really want it.
My name is Darryl Hicks, and as the Ceo of two companies—the two Tungsten’s, if you will, Tungsten Revenue Consultants and Tungsten Solutions—goal-setting is one of my specialties. So, it’s easy for me to spot a goal someone has, but they don’t really want for themselves.
There are three reasons people might have this type of problem. Here are parts one and two:
- Someone else wants it for you.
If you want a goal, you should want it for yourself, not because someone else wants it for you. The most common example is weight loss. Lots of people want to lose weight because they feel like society wants them to look a certain way. But isolate those people from that pressure, and suddenly their weight doesn’t matter anymore.
To determine if your goal isn’t your own, take the test. Ask yourself these questions:
- Are you concerned that people would disagree if you didn’t want it?
- Would other people approve if you said you did?
- Would completing this goal benefit others more than you?
- Was the goal given or assigned to you by someone else?
If you answered yes to any of these, it’s possible you might be dealing with a goal that’s not your own.
- You don’t know what else to aim for.
If you want a goal, it should be because you see true value in completing it, not because you weren’t sure what else to do. This is common for college students, who aren’t sure what to choose for a major. Rather than extensively looking through all options and taking time to decide, they just pick one that sounds easy or interesting. A degree in that field would not feel satisfying.
Luckily, there’s a test for this one too. Ask yourself:
- Did you pick this goal at a time when you were feeling anxious?
- Is fear or confusion your primary motivation?
- Would removing the goal make you feel lost?
- Are you unable to explain why you want it?
The more you answered “yes,” the more likely you are to have a goal chosen because you weren’t sure where else to turn.
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